365 days ago –

I was finishing up my first 30 Moo-less days. It was miserable. Probably the hardest 30 days I’ve lived to date – filled with heartbreak, disappointment, doubtfulness, confusion, anger, and a sense of falling short on my mother responsibilities to Madi.

I had found out about Mini (that wasn’t her original name – she had some pansy name that just didn’t represent her) a week after Moo was murdered. It took a few weeks before I had a glimmer of home, excitement and self-accomplishment lead me to pack half the house into the truck. Bags of blankets, clothes, water, human and dog food, collars, leashes, pen and paper, and money. A kennel – large kennel as I didn’t know just what size this ‘standard’ Australian Shepherd was going to be.

January 1, 2018 was one of the coldest days on record. I woke up easily at 5am knowing I had to be on the road by 6am. 10 hours of driving round trip awaited. I started the truck before I changed out of my pj’s. Thank goodness for attached garages – it’s a small one stall but it’s attached, and I was extra thankful that morning. -49 degrees with the wind chill. Cold and windy.

So cold and windy it panicked my Mom, so I picked her up along the way. She begged me to delay the arrival of Mini, but I have this stubborn side to me – 49 degrees positive or negative we’re heading north.

I told very few people of this trip – I’ve been in the dog world long enough to know that some are quick to criticize those who get a new dog ‘too soon’ after the loss of another.

Typically, I don’t care what others think; however, I need some of those people to further the goals of my dogs.

Madi stayed home -against the original plan – because my fear of having 2 dogs and truck trouble on the coldest day of the year won out. I highly recommend when getting a new dog to take your current dogs with you for introduction on a neutral to all dogs’ surface.

The sun finally came out and the wind started to diminish the further north we got which made the wind chill decrease. Warmer going north – who would have dreamed?

01.01.2019 I had one goal on this trip – get Mini out of an unwanted situation and into a wanted situation.

My goal in rescue work is to move dogs from ‘unwanted to wanted’. Therefore, I agreed to file the capacity in our home quickly. It wasn’t because I wanted nor needed to replace Moo as some have accused me of. There is no replacement of Moo.

5 hours driving for a whopping 40 minutes to update ownership papers, get updated on Mini’s meds for an urinary track infection, and an exchange of money to put Mini on the other end of my leash – She told me immediately she needed some work on her leash skills as she pulled me towards the door. It wasn’t a ‘let’s get me outta here’ pull either. It was a ‘I have no clue what to do on this leash’ pull. I loaded her up in the car and before I hit the end of the driveway had a call into our groomer. Mini needed an immediate spa day.

We made it home – almost as cold as what it was when we left.

I hesitated to keep her- I honestly thought she deserved better and I was just one on the path to make that happen. Not her final forever home. She deserved someone who made better decisions on behalf of their dog. Trusting the right people at the right time with goal of keeping her alive. Unlike the decision I made for Moo.

Mini’s first three weeks for full of busyness. She never quit moving. My mom was staying with me for a week during this time – helping prep for tax season. She asked several times ‘Does she ever stop moving?’

I should have named her Busy.

Mini was lost, uncomfortable, unsure of expectations, confused, disoriented -learning what door to go to is a challenge for a new dog-, and avoided. Madi and I didn’t immediately accept Mini – in order to do that we had to accept the risk of love again.

Madi was grieving in her own way and so was I. WE couldn’t even really help each other.

So Mini had to work her way into our hearts.

She had to help us pick up the pieces of our broken hearts.

It’s an unfair expectation to put on a dog let alone a new dog. I know that. But my heart did not.

Third of week of March was tough – I typically go to the NCAA Division 1 National Wrestling Tournament. 21 consecutive years. But I didn’t go this time around. The last time I left my dog in the hands of someone else, she came back to me dead and I wasn’t going to take that risk again.

I was working at my desk when I was flooded with Moo memories – a year prior Moo was with me working at the earliest morning hours. This time it was Mini doing the same. Tears filled my eyes and I started to sniffle. Mini woke up, jumped into my lap, and licked the tears straight from my face.

It was then that I opened my heart. I knew I could love her. I knew I needed to love her. And I knew she patiently waited for me to open up.

She was in her forever home.

365 days later, she’s loved and still in her forever home.

I’ve always admired my Mom’s ability to remember dates – off the top of her head. To me, they seemed to fade over time. Well, until the day Moo was murdered by a negligent doggie day care owner. Then dates do not fade. They stick.

They stick in my heart, in my mind, and on my calendar.

I’ve been waiting for today – December 13, 2018 for the last 347 days. Today is special – one of those dates that will forever be in my heart, in my mind, and on my calendar.

Today is the day that Mini has spent more days as a Mama’s Little One than Moo did. There’s great pride is getting to this day. Lots of times where I didn’t think I deserved to get to this day. Daily reminders that Mini more than deserves to get to today. And in the deepest corner of my heart, I know that Moo knows Mini deserved this chance – to hit the milestone of today.

It’s been a difficult 347 days – I’ve never been one to leave my dogs behind much. But over the last 347 days I’ve left both of them for 72 hours while at a work conference and that was 3 weeks ago. They stayed at our home with my parents. In my control, I knew Mini could reach day 347 and Madi would reach day 2,922.

Now we can start to string together the rest of those days Madi and Mini both deserve. And do it with confidence it can be done.

Dates Matter. Days Matter. Time Matters.