Inspired.

It’s been days, weeks, months, quarters since I’ve written.

Some of the delay is my Certified Public Accountant profession – tax season is quick but long. Chaos but controlled chaos. Exhausting but thrilling. Everyone thinks it lasts from January to April. Reality – it lasts all year long!

However I do take a few days off the first week of May to give attention to those who have patiently waited for me. Laundry. My bed. My incredibly active but deprived two legged daughters. 3 hour phone call with my best friend. The daughter my parents have missed.

Today a friend shared a post on Facebook from a young woman who took her dog to a place of exchange with a dog trainer. Her dog Ned was supposed to be taken for boarding/training and then returned to her in a far better obedient manner than she presented at the time. That was the last time she saw her dog alive. The ‘trainer’ left the car in a heated car and Ned died of excessive heat related issues.

My heart broke for Ned and Lissie, Ned’s owner. Ned is unexpectedly and unnecessarily dead. Lissie is what I can only assume to be angry, faced with a problem that she struggles to find a solution for, full of sadness, broken hearted, and full of guilt.

I know those feelings – I still live them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

More than likely Lissie will hear the following statements –
1. Time will help heal

2. It was an accident

3.Ned would want you to continue to live a happy and healthy life. Get to living it.

I know those statements. They are made by those of your inner circle. The ones that just do not get it. They try to. Try to support. Try to understand. Try to help. Try to be encouraging. Try to convince you that you did nothing wrong.

The reality is –

Time does NOT heal anything.
It was not an accident. It was neglect.
The only thing Ned would want is to be alive. As he should be. As he was intended to be.
Exposure of the guilty party (you can continue to believe the whole ‘innocent until proven guilty’ theory if you want) is necessary to minimize the chances of this happening again. So for those of you in the midwest, Ned was put into the care of Chris Railsback of Midwest Dog Training at 300 N Derby Ln. in North Sioux City. (866) 582-3647 / (712) 251-9010. Midwestdogtraining.com

I guess you could say I found my inspiration. To write. To share. To feel. To reach out.

New Year’s Resolutions

I’ve always said New Year’s Resolutions are a set up to fail. And I’ve never understood why people need a change in the calendar year to set new goals for themselves.

I consider myself to be goal oriented – everything from getting more organized, more consistent in actions directly impacting my highest priorities, making time for myself, and waking up every morning thankful that I have the opportunity to live the next several seconds, minutes, hours, and if I’m lucky the opportunity to live the entire day.

My career revolves around calendar deadlines – dates that someone else determined to be standout dates.

Friends and family focus on calendar dates – birthdays, holidays, anniversary’s, big goal accomplished dates.

Then there’s obligation dates – show up for Grandma’s birthday, buy roses and chocolate on Valentines day, wear Green on St Patrick’s Day, celebrate your freedoms on 4th of July.

Why don’t people celebrate every day? Show love on every day? Eat chocolate and buy themselves roses just to make their day more colorful? Wear green because it makes your eyes sparkle? And wake up every morning knowing that a soldier somewhere is responsible for you waking up without bombs going off in your backyard.

Today I told the truth on my Facebook Post –

And then I bought myself roses at Trader Joe’s. Orange roses.
The Meaning of Orange Roses. Orange roses symbolize desire and enthusiasm in a relationship with their warm, vibrant tone. The color represents a unique energy that no other color encompasses. The color orange itself is said to stimulate action, which coincides with the enthusiasm, excitement, and desire of the orange rose.

Forget New Year’s Resolutions and make everyday a ‘goal accomplished’ day. Period. No comma

December 19

12.19.10 – probably one of the most anticipated exciting days of my 36 almost 37 years of life. It was a Sunday. I flew to Tampa, Florida the previous Wednesday for a work conference. First time in Tampa – not overly impressed but loved a restaurant down the road. $50 meal that was supposed to be covered by the company who sent me there but wasn’t. That was a ‘mind sticking’ meal – the only $50 meal I’ve paid for to date.

I extended that stay for 36 hours to spend some time with family near Orlando before heading back home. Ice storm that weekend in Iowa. My Sunday 7am flight didn’t end up getting to Cedar Rapids until middle of the afternoon but I got there. Bright sunny glistening ice everywhere.

I left that CR airport parking lot full of excitement. I was off to pick up my first ever 4 legged daughter – she had to stay at my sister’s house for an extra week. She didn’t mind all the extra attention and time with her litter mate brother which my sister ended up keeping of that accidental litter in her living room.

Madi – she wobbled -only as a puppy can wobble – over to me as I entered the house and wagged her tail as though I had never seen her before and she had to introduce her energetic forever!’

Take a minute and reflect on those handful of times, experiences, conversations that are really life altering. Those moments that make you ask yourself ‘If this would have happened differently or not at all, how different would everything be?’

That’s December 19, 2010 in a nutshell. That would be, could have been life was over on this day. And I’ve loved every second of the detour.

Madi is a detour I needed and wanted 8 years ago today. And I still enjoy the scenic route she has created on our journey of life.

12.19.16 – Madi and waited six full years; exactly 6 years. This was the day I signed the adoption papers for Moo. She was beautiful to the eye but most couldn’t understand why an active family would want an almost 8 year old to join our family. It was easy – Madi loved her instantly. And so did I. It was more than her beautiful markings, show ring prance, and her ability to put on a show inside an agility ring. She was more beautiful on the insight. Graceful, patient, caring, loving, appreciative, fun loving, adventurous, supportive, aware, insightful, and off the chart intelligent.

There was no drastic detour with her – she belonged on the path that Madi and I had created together. Just like the scarecrow deserved to be on the path with Dorthy on The Wizard of Oz.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=the+wizard+of+oz+scarecrow+song&view=detail&mid=E87CFA6E60B74D9B88CEE87CFA6E60B74D9B88CE&FORM=VIRE

Fluke Timing = Gift

Sunday night is my time of reflection – sometimes it’s spent multi-tasking with episodes of Cooks Country (Italian dinner episode tonight).

Do you know how, when, and why you met your best friend(s)? If I were to ask you would you be able to give the details or something simply ‘we met at a party?’

Wednesday of this week I sent a text to my best gal pal –
‘I’ve learned that when I get up on a Wednesday morning and pretend it’s an old-fashioned Ronald McDonald House Wednesday – day goes so quicker and happier.’

2007 I changed jobs – no surprise, I changed jobs every 16 or so months. I was not only missing a career I could enjoy but I was missing those volunteer days from high school. Then it was information desk at a local hospital. Now it was the Ronald McDonald House (RMH) in Coralville, IA.

I wasn’t expecting a consistent turnover in volunteer partners – 2 per shift. One Wednesday, a petite blonde showed up in the dull and dark volunteer office during my 4-8p shift. I was silently disappointed – I grew up with guy friends, football, wrestling, farm work, and hitting up the local bakery with my guy pals. A gal pal was the last thing I was seeking.

That gal pal became the best person to fill the RMH pop machine with while drinking a grape and/or orange soda, folding RMH bedding (she was good at folding flat sheets and left me the fitted sheets), making small talk transporting families to the local hospital. Most importantly, she was the clock. Excellent time management and kept us on track.

I never thought Am would become the one I would:
*Call on a Friday night for her carry out sushi order on my way to her house to watch the Bachelor,
*Meet up with on a Sunday evening for a walk to lead into my week in a calm wanting state,
*Seek relationship advice from (she’s so good at flipping the table and giving me a different view of human interaction)
*Follow to Florida for her destination wedding let alone go a few days early to relax (at her request!)
*Believe trust in people can be good
*Reach to meet or exceed her expectations of friendship.
*Learn what friendship truly is:
*Accountability
*Trust
*Love
*Thoughtfulness
*Selflessness
*Acceptance of shortcoming
*Agreeing to disagree
*Give and take
*Being able to just be me – I can be a badly wrapped gift and still be acceptable.
*Showing emotion was okay – grief and struggle are part of personal growth.
*Missing emails – I read them but often forget that I haven’t replied. My draft box is full of half completed emails to Am. But she doesn’t hold that over my head.
*Showing up is sometimes all that’s needed

Thank you Am for teaching me gal pals do exist and they don’t all disappoint 🙂

We no longer have our Wednesday night – Am is in a different state than I am. However we have everyday to make each other better people. A fluke gift.

Take a moment – look backwards and reach out to those who have made you a better person, a better friend, a better sibling, a better daughter/son, a better grandchild, a better husband/wife. Those people deserve to be thanked on a Wednesday night.

After all they are a part of you.