Inspired.

It’s been days, weeks, months, quarters since I’ve written.

Some of the delay is my Certified Public Accountant profession – tax season is quick but long. Chaos but controlled chaos. Exhausting but thrilling. Everyone thinks it lasts from January to April. Reality – it lasts all year long!

However I do take a few days off the first week of May to give attention to those who have patiently waited for me. Laundry. My bed. My incredibly active but deprived two legged daughters. 3 hour phone call with my best friend. The daughter my parents have missed.

Today a friend shared a post on Facebook from a young woman who took her dog to a place of exchange with a dog trainer. Her dog Ned was supposed to be taken for boarding/training and then returned to her in a far better obedient manner than she presented at the time. That was the last time she saw her dog alive. The ‘trainer’ left the car in a heated car and Ned died of excessive heat related issues.

My heart broke for Ned and Lissie, Ned’s owner. Ned is unexpectedly and unnecessarily dead. Lissie is what I can only assume to be angry, faced with a problem that she struggles to find a solution for, full of sadness, broken hearted, and full of guilt.

I know those feelings – I still live them EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

More than likely Lissie will hear the following statements –
1. Time will help heal

2. It was an accident

3.Ned would want you to continue to live a happy and healthy life. Get to living it.

I know those statements. They are made by those of your inner circle. The ones that just do not get it. They try to. Try to support. Try to understand. Try to help. Try to be encouraging. Try to convince you that you did nothing wrong.

The reality is –

Time does NOT heal anything.
It was not an accident. It was neglect.
The only thing Ned would want is to be alive. As he should be. As he was intended to be.
Exposure of the guilty party (you can continue to believe the whole ‘innocent until proven guilty’ theory if you want) is necessary to minimize the chances of this happening again. So for those of you in the midwest, Ned was put into the care of Chris Railsback of Midwest Dog Training at 300 N Derby Ln. in North Sioux City. (866) 582-3647 / (712) 251-9010. Midwestdogtraining.com

I guess you could say I found my inspiration. To write. To share. To feel. To reach out.

365 DAYS

365 days ago –

I was finishing up my first 30 Moo-less days. It was miserable. Probably the hardest 30 days I’ve lived to date – filled with heartbreak, disappointment, doubtfulness, confusion, anger, and a sense of falling short on my mother responsibilities to Madi.

I had found out about Mini (that wasn’t her original name – she had some pansy name that just didn’t represent her) a week after Moo was murdered. It took a few weeks before I had a glimmer of home, excitement and self-accomplishment lead me to pack half the house into the truck. Bags of blankets, clothes, water, human and dog food, collars, leashes, pen and paper, and money. A kennel – large kennel as I didn’t know just what size this ‘standard’ Australian Shepherd was going to be.

January 1, 2018 was one of the coldest days on record. I woke up easily at 5am knowing I had to be on the road by 6am. 10 hours of driving round trip awaited. I started the truck before I changed out of my pj’s. Thank goodness for attached garages – it’s a small one stall but it’s attached, and I was extra thankful that morning. -49 degrees with the wind chill. Cold and windy.

So cold and windy it panicked my Mom, so I picked her up along the way. She begged me to delay the arrival of Mini, but I have this stubborn side to me – 49 degrees positive or negative we’re heading north.

I told very few people of this trip – I’ve been in the dog world long enough to know that some are quick to criticize those who get a new dog ‘too soon’ after the loss of another.

Typically, I don’t care what others think; however, I need some of those people to further the goals of my dogs.

Madi stayed home -against the original plan – because my fear of having 2 dogs and truck trouble on the coldest day of the year won out. I highly recommend when getting a new dog to take your current dogs with you for introduction on a neutral to all dogs’ surface.

The sun finally came out and the wind started to diminish the further north we got which made the wind chill decrease. Warmer going north – who would have dreamed?

01.01.2019 I had one goal on this trip – get Mini out of an unwanted situation and into a wanted situation.

My goal in rescue work is to move dogs from ‘unwanted to wanted’. Therefore, I agreed to file the capacity in our home quickly. It wasn’t because I wanted nor needed to replace Moo as some have accused me of. There is no replacement of Moo.

5 hours driving for a whopping 40 minutes to update ownership papers, get updated on Mini’s meds for an urinary track infection, and an exchange of money to put Mini on the other end of my leash – She told me immediately she needed some work on her leash skills as she pulled me towards the door. It wasn’t a ‘let’s get me outta here’ pull either. It was a ‘I have no clue what to do on this leash’ pull. I loaded her up in the car and before I hit the end of the driveway had a call into our groomer. Mini needed an immediate spa day.

We made it home – almost as cold as what it was when we left.

I hesitated to keep her- I honestly thought she deserved better and I was just one on the path to make that happen. Not her final forever home. She deserved someone who made better decisions on behalf of their dog. Trusting the right people at the right time with goal of keeping her alive. Unlike the decision I made for Moo.

Mini’s first three weeks for full of busyness. She never quit moving. My mom was staying with me for a week during this time – helping prep for tax season. She asked several times ‘Does she ever stop moving?’

I should have named her Busy.

Mini was lost, uncomfortable, unsure of expectations, confused, disoriented -learning what door to go to is a challenge for a new dog-, and avoided. Madi and I didn’t immediately accept Mini – in order to do that we had to accept the risk of love again.

Madi was grieving in her own way and so was I. WE couldn’t even really help each other.

So Mini had to work her way into our hearts.

She had to help us pick up the pieces of our broken hearts.

It’s an unfair expectation to put on a dog let alone a new dog. I know that. But my heart did not.

Third of week of March was tough – I typically go to the NCAA Division 1 National Wrestling Tournament. 21 consecutive years. But I didn’t go this time around. The last time I left my dog in the hands of someone else, she came back to me dead and I wasn’t going to take that risk again.

I was working at my desk when I was flooded with Moo memories – a year prior Moo was with me working at the earliest morning hours. This time it was Mini doing the same. Tears filled my eyes and I started to sniffle. Mini woke up, jumped into my lap, and licked the tears straight from my face.

It was then that I opened my heart. I knew I could love her. I knew I needed to love her. And I knew she patiently waited for me to open up.

She was in her forever home.

Australian Shepherd licking a womans face.

365 days later, she’s loved and still in her forever home.

New Year’s Resolutions

I’ve always said New Year’s Resolutions are a set up to fail. And I’ve never understood why people need a change in the calendar year to set new goals for themselves.

I consider myself to be goal oriented – everything from getting more organized, more consistent in actions directly impacting my highest priorities, making time for myself, and waking up every morning thankful that I have the opportunity to live the next several seconds, minutes, hours, and if I’m lucky the opportunity to live the entire day.

My career revolves around calendar deadlines – dates that someone else determined to be standout dates.

Friends and family focus on calendar dates – birthdays, holidays, anniversary’s, big goal accomplished dates.

Then there’s obligation dates – show up for Grandma’s birthday, buy roses and chocolate on Valentines day, wear Green on St Patrick’s Day, celebrate your freedoms on 4th of July.

Why don’t people celebrate every day? Show love on every day? Eat chocolate and buy themselves roses just to make their day more colorful? Wear green because it makes your eyes sparkle? And wake up every morning knowing that a soldier somewhere is responsible for you waking up without bombs going off in your backyard.

Today I told the truth on my Facebook Post –

And then I bought myself roses at Trader Joe’s. Orange roses.
The Meaning of Orange Roses. Orange roses symbolize desire and enthusiasm in a relationship with their warm, vibrant tone. The color represents a unique energy that no other color encompasses. The color orange itself is said to stimulate action, which coincides with the enthusiasm, excitement, and desire of the orange rose.

Forget New Year’s Resolutions and make everyday a ‘goal accomplished’ day. Period. No comma

December 19

12.19.10 – probably one of the most anticipated exciting days of my 36 almost 37 years of life. It was a Sunday. I flew to Tampa, Florida the previous Wednesday for a work conference. First time in Tampa – not overly impressed but loved a restaurant down the road. $50 meal that was supposed to be covered by the company who sent me there but wasn’t. That was a ‘mind sticking’ meal – the only $50 meal I’ve paid for to date.

I extended that stay for 36 hours to spend some time with family near Orlando before heading back home. Ice storm that weekend in Iowa. My Sunday 7am flight didn’t end up getting to Cedar Rapids until middle of the afternoon but I got there. Bright sunny glistening ice everywhere.

I left that CR airport parking lot full of excitement. I was off to pick up my first ever 4 legged daughter – she had to stay at my sister’s house for an extra week. She didn’t mind all the extra attention and time with her litter mate brother which my sister ended up keeping of that accidental litter in her living room.

Madi – she wobbled -only as a puppy can wobble – over to me as I entered the house and wagged her tail as though I had never seen her before and she had to introduce her energetic forever!’

Take a minute and reflect on those handful of times, experiences, conversations that are really life altering. Those moments that make you ask yourself ‘If this would have happened differently or not at all, how different would everything be?’

That’s December 19, 2010 in a nutshell. That would be, could have been life was over on this day. And I’ve loved every second of the detour.

Madi is a detour I needed and wanted 8 years ago today. And I still enjoy the scenic route she has created on our journey of life.

12.19.16 – Madi and waited six full years; exactly 6 years. This was the day I signed the adoption papers for Moo. She was beautiful to the eye but most couldn’t understand why an active family would want an almost 8 year old to join our family. It was easy – Madi loved her instantly. And so did I. It was more than her beautiful markings, show ring prance, and her ability to put on a show inside an agility ring. She was more beautiful on the insight. Graceful, patient, caring, loving, appreciative, fun loving, adventurous, supportive, aware, insightful, and off the chart intelligent.

There was no drastic detour with her – she belonged on the path that Madi and I had created together. Just like the scarecrow deserved to be on the path with Dorthy on The Wizard of Oz.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=the+wizard+of+oz+scarecrow+song&view=detail&mid=E87CFA6E60B74D9B88CEE87CFA6E60B74D9B88CE&FORM=VIRE

Dates Matter – 12/13/18

I’ve always admired my Mom’s ability to remember dates – off the top of her head. To me, they seemed to fade over time. Well, until the day Moo was murdered by a negligent doggie day care owner. Then dates do not fade. They stick.

They stick in my heart, in my mind, and on my calendar.

I’ve been waiting for today – December 13, 2018 for the last 347 days. Today is special – one of those dates that will forever be in my heart, in my mind, and on my calendar.

Today is the day that Mini has spent more days as a Mama’s Little One than Moo did. There’s great pride is getting to this day. Lots of times where I didn’t think I deserved to get to this day. Daily reminders that Mini more than deserves to get to today. And in the deepest corner of my heart, I know that Moo knows Mini deserved this chance – to hit the milestone of today.

It’s been a difficult 347 days – I’ve never been one to leave my dogs behind much. But over the last 347 days I’ve left both of them for 72 hours while at a work conference and that was 3 weeks ago. They stayed at our home with my parents. In my control, I knew Mini could reach day 347 and Madi would reach day 2,922.

Now we can start to string together the rest of those days Madi and Mini both deserve. And do it with confidence it can be done.

Dates Matter. Days Matter. Time Matters.

Accident vs Neglect

I’ve spent the last six months sharing my Moo experience with people – people who use social media to support Bounding Hound, people responsible for the piss poor animal welfare laws in our state (49th in animal welfare ranking!), people part of dog clubs that seek out services for their dogs, people who own businesses and believe that supporting local masks all else.

The one word used in a sentence with regards to Moo’s death that I will IMMEDIATELY correct is Accident.

Accident defined – an unplanned or unforeseen event or circumstance.

Neglect – to leave undone or unattended to especially through carelessness.

Moo’s death was NOT AN ACCIDENT.

Moo’s death was pure animal NEGLECT. When you are in the business of watching, training, caring for animals and you leave them unattended and something goes wrong – that’s carelessness. That’s NOT doing what you promised your clients and their animals what you would do. What comes of that is not unplanned. You know when you leave animals, kids, humans, etc unattended bad things can and do happen.

That’s the sole reason people don’t leave animals unattended – that’s the reason they seek out Bounding Hound for services.

Accidents don’t happen in a 6′ fence enclosed yard with two gates and human oversight.

Neglect happens in a 6′ fence enclosed yard with two gates without human oversight. Carelessness – poor decision making – disconnect between what care was promised and what care was delivered.

The job was undone.

Moo was unattended.

Both as a result of carelessness.

Moo’s death was NOT an accident! It was NEGLECT – neglect by a person responsible for a business in the industry of animal services. NEGLECT by one who proclaims to put animals first but doesn’t.

Use the word accident and you will be corrected.

Neglected. Is. The. Right. Word.

Moo to No Moo – 346 days

346 days of the most natural harmonized family.
346 days of the perfect bonded sisters.
346 days of Moo making us better – a better version of Madi and a better version of myself.
346 days of which 42 were spent in the agility ring. 4 states.
346 days of gratitude.
346 days of fulfilled healthy, happy, and loved life full of well deserved fun.

1 moment of animal neglect that cost Moo everything….

On Thursday,November 30, 2017, Moo went to Bounding Hound in Coralville, IA for dog daycare as she had been doing since May 2017.

It is my understanding that Moo went missing at approximately 1:30pm while left unattended outside. After receiving a phone call from Loren Prottsman, owner of Bounding Hound, at 3pm I started a search party consisting of myself, the entire six-person team of local business Everyday Helper, four family members,and four close friends.

The following day at 8:20am I received call that a good Samaritan found Moo dead along Interstate 80 near what would be the 12^th Ave exit if one existed. Approximately 1 mile from Bounding Hound and 5 miles from my home –she was headed north to get back home.

I filed a complaint December 2017 with the US Department of Agriculture. As of 11.30.18 there has been several follow up attempts with no response by the US Department of Agriculture.

I also filed a complaint with the Iowa Department of Agriculture and Land Stewardship and it was followed up on 01/02/18 with inspection # AB002820 by inspector Stephanie Black. Bounding Hound was approved during this inspection even with violation Chapter 67.5(1) Purchase, Sale, Trade and Adoption records on the inspection.

There was also another complaint by another party filed in April 2017 with inspection follow up date of 4/26/17 #AB002504 with Inspector Stephanie Black note as follows:

‘this residential based commercial establishment believes itself to be a commercial kennel, not a dog daycare (rules do not apply).’

However, Moo was at Bounding Hound for doggie day care services.

As of March2018 The Iowa Department of Agriculture and Land Stewardship has re-visited the status of Bounding Hound.

As of November 2018, Bounding Hound, with the assistance of the City of Coralville, has moved locations. Some would be foolish enough to believe this is due to expansion goals however this is because it’s clear violation of City of Coralville code to be operating an animal service business within city limits unless in a commercial or industrial zoned area. That’s 7+ years Bounding Hound was directly violating city code. And then the City that was violated helped them find a new home in compliance. No consequence on record for the 7+ years worth of violation.

As of today – Bounding Hound is still in business.

The ‘It Factor’

The ‘it factor’ is unspoken but searched for by all humans.

Whether it be – looking for a divorce attorney, best friend, work boss, spouse, grocery store check out line, and yes, even a dog.

It’s nearly impossible to put into words but I’ll try in terms of the performance dog ‘it factor.’

First and foremost, one full of playfulness. Everything is a natural game – tug is fun, going outside is fun, jumping in the truck to travel is fun, even counter surfing is fun. A dog who is laid back enough to have fun. Moo deemed anything with Madi and I to be fun. She was always seeking out a new game – new source of fun!

Biddable – wanting to please without much enticement. Don’t get me wrong Moo would work for food when asked but she preferred to be touched as her reward. And talked to. It was as if her eyes were writing the most thrilling chapter of her book when I pet her and told her she was beautiful.

Focused – has the ability to learn the leader, hone in, and complete the task at hand. Can be quickly taught that no distraction is worthy of leaving the leader behind. Love a crowd but knows when to interact with it and when not to.

Takes learning as a welcomed challenge – wants to work, wants to be challenged, isn’t quite satisfied with ‘half assing it.’ In other words, a dog equal to me.

Madi struggles with the playfulness trait – just like her Mom. We’re serious – we strive for perfection. And the play waits until the end of the day to show and it’s rarely if ever shown in front of others. It takes a lot of human work to get Madi to want to play. She’ll play tug at the drop of a hat and she’ll play fetch for hours at the park. She’ll run with pure furry of relaxation and confidence on a 10 mile off leash run in the woods. But to show off her confidence, relaxation, and speed in front of others – no way. Much like me – growing up the farm was my woods. It’s where I could be me without eyes on me.

Moo was playful to the T. Naturally playful. Natural show off in a crowd while staying focused on me and the obstacles at hand. I NEVER worked to create this trait in Moo.

She was biddable. She was focused. She loved to be challenged.

She had the ‘It Factor!’ She was adopted in December 2016 and I had her in the NADAC agility ring in January 2017 – she shined in the ring. That was her home. That was her woods – the place she was naturally herself. She was fun, relaxed, confident, and most importantly she was her whole self.

She taught me what that agility ring was supposed to be like – 30 seconds of pure fun playing with one of my biggest treasures.

Impact on Madi – she had her most successful agility year in 2017 because Moo pushed her to enjoy it. Or maybe it was pure competition between sisters that lit the fire.

MOO – SEARCH FOREVER & YOU WILL FIND

Madi (my first and often times referred to as my favorite) spent the first three and one half years of her life on a 2nd floor condo in a nearby town. We went outside in every weather condition imaginable. 3am and out in the -30 with wind index of 20 below in middle of February was the winter norm. It took me 20 minutes to ‘suit up’ for the outings and another 5 minutes to get Madi’s coat and boots on her. She was patient and a trooper. Thankfully I trained her young to be off leash reliable so she would have to move 30 feet to pee in a snow bank while I stayed on the ice-covered sidewalk.

Only child syndrome – strong-willed, independent, attention seeking and getting, leader with only a human follower, toys and tennis ball queen, reliable, sensitive, anti-conflict, traveler, hotel know it all, but most of all Madi loved having her Mom all to herself.

I wasn’t expecting to wait almost 4 years to start looking for Madi’s sister. It was a quest with one goal in mind – find the perfect sister. That’s hard for an older sibling who isn’t used to siblings. I know – my sister is 4.5 years younger than me. I got used to a perfect life that went upside down with one screaming whine from a newborn.

The only way to ‘test drive’ potential additions to our family was through rescue work – fostering, transporting, volunteering with dogs. It was a win-win for Madi and I.

We had a criteria list for Madi’s sister and no where on it was kind of dog as in purebred or Mix Breed. The outside of the dog wasn’t important. It was all about character, meshability (yes I created that word and yes spell check doesn’t like it and yes, I’m ignoring it!) personality, and the ‘it’ performance dog factor.

Moo was a 7.5 year old rescue dog – my first foster failure. I picked her up half way between us and the Aussie Rescue of Minnesota director – a truck stop parking lot on Oct 2, 2016. She got out of a backseat kennel on a leash and she was beautiful. Shy, scared, but had a glimmer of confidence and a strut that I fell for immediately.

Madi and Moo clicked immediately. Moo had no problems being the passive sibling. No problem being the follower. It was as if they were already sisters in another life. Calm, cool, comfortable, and confident in their roles. Moo opened up quickly – her playful sense of adventure was displayed as bold as the American flag at Perkin’s Bakery and Restaurant.

I tried several times to put pen to paper to create Moo’s biography as part of the ‘forever home find’ process. I couldn’t do it. Madi and Moo grew as a bonded pair so quickly, I couldn’t take that away from Madi. And I couldn’t take that away from myself.

There’s a dog bed by the front all glass door – one of Madi’s favorite spots. She took up the entire bed no matter what dog was in the house. Until Moo came along – she scooted to left side and left the right side for Moo. Together they would be on watch dog duty, squirrel duty, rabbit duty, and most importantly mailman duty!

I signed Moo’s adoption papers on December 19, 2016. I brought Madi home on December 19, 2010. They were meant to be sisters.

Storytelling

Life is a story. My story. Madi’s story. Moo’s story. Mini’s story. Together, the four of us have created our story.

I’ve always gravitated towards good storytellers – real stories. Country music and I have a strong relationship because we’re both focused on sharing the story. To be honest, country music delivers my story better than I ever could.

I’ve always respected the Dixie Chicks – group of strong independent woman who stood strong behind their beliefs. It ended up costing them a 10+ year delay in a career started with a BIG Bang. Since December 2017, I’ve repeated that song Not Ready to Make Nice over and over again – decreasing the frequency month by month but it hasn’t left my mind, my heart, and my soul.

Dedicated to the negligent human (who I’m not even convinced is human) who lead Moo to an early unexpected and undeserved death.

Madi lost her canine sister and I lost my four legged daughter. We’ve been through human (close to us human) death but we’ve never felt so heartbroken. Thank you to Miranda Lambert for summarizing our ‘No Moo’ journey.

Rodney Adkins released a single in 2005 ‘If you’re Going Through Hell…’ That was the theme song my Mom and I shared to motivate us to move forward without my Grandpa. Anything to move on – work through the bad, the change in traditions, the change of the guards (leader of our family). I never thought I would find my way back to this song. Losing Moo was a new level of hell. I didn’t know it at the time but a year ago I was starting my last month with the one four legged daughter who was robbed of long healthy life she deserved.